Starting Over in the Middle

Basically, I am a woman in love with food...but not in love with how I've let my love of food overwhelm my body. In other words, I am on a path towards healthy living. Right now I'm fighting the urge to eat some chocolate covered potato chips I have hiding on the top shelf of a cabinet in my dining room. I know, you can't believe it, they make chocolate covered potato chips. It sounds disgusting, but trust me they are delicious...I know. I have eaten a whole bag of them in one sitting.  (Disclaimer: It's not the size of a large potato chip bag, more like an individual serving sized bag, but probably three times the calories and fat.)

So, I guess blogging is a better way to deal with that urge than giving into it. I have been participating in Weight Watchers since October 2006. In the beginning I was extremely successful, losing 25 pounds and getting within 10 pounds of my goal weight. Unfortunately, I lost momentum, gained it all back (plus some) and have had difficulty getting that momentum back. Today my leader suggested I start blogging. Originally, I thought...Who is going to read it? What am I going to write? Then this craving for chocolate covered potato chips hit me, and I realized it doesn't matter who reads it. I know what I need to write about...my constant battle to gain control of my life...especially regarding food and healthy living.

So here I am. Writing a blog. I hope you enjoy it.

There are some things I would like you to know about me.  I am the youngest of four children.  My older siblings have never struggled with weight issues.  Two skinny mini sisters and a lanky brother can make the slightly chubby child look super chubby.  I've been aware of my weight since a pretty young age.  I don't say this to imply my family was malicious towards me, but to show you that this isn't a new feeling I've had.  This is something I have experienced for quite some time.  Now, though, when I look back at pictures of me as a child, preteen, and teenager, I do not see a chubby girl.  I see a big smile and some stringy blonde hair...and when I look at pictures of me from highschool I think, Wow, I was SKINNY!  It's also important to know that my mother actually did feed us healthy foods.  I grew up loving vegetables, fruits, wheat bread, desserts for special occassions only, etc.  But my mom also never had to worry about being overweight...so butter and gravy were present in most meals.

In college I didn't really gain the customary Freshman Fifteen.  I think my body was slightly shocked by all the walking I was doing on a daily basis that it kept me even weight wise.  After I graduated from college I began Weight Watchers.  October 18, 2008, I married my husband, Justin.  Justin also does Weight Watchers and has lost a significant amount of weight over the last two years. 

I am a social worker.  I have always loved helping people.  I have decided to begin helping myself a little more.  I am hoping this blog will hold me accountable...not because I am going to post my weekly weigh-in results, but because I am going to make this my new outlet instead of chocolate covered potato chips...

There is a disconnect between my desire to lose weight and my action to lose weight. I'm working to connect those two so I won't feel so torn between what I want for myself long term (healthy weight loss) vs. what I want right now (those chocolate covered potato chips).  So, welcome to my journey.